Breaking Ice

     OK, so after re-reading my last post, I decided I needed to write something cheery and upbeat :-)  Seriously, I'm not trying to hide anything; I have truly been back to my usual happy self.  Is Reece still headbanging?  Yes, some.  The cuts on his forehead from last week are finally starting to heal now, thank goodness!  The headbanging seems to be a little better; maybe not quite as violent as before.  Today, he was actually unusually calm!  Yea!!!  Always love calm days :-)  And, it helped that it got up to 60 today... woo-hoo!!

     I know I talk a lot about Reece and his autism, but, truly, there is a normal boy in there- a normal farmboy who likes to go feeding with his grandpa almost every morning.  And, what do normal boys do with their grandpa while they feed every morning?  They help, of course!  And, what does Reece do?  Well.... he does what most city-mamas would never let their little 8-year-old boys do....

HE BREAKS ICE ON A FROZEN POND!

     Yes, that really is an axe that he's using.  I know, I know.  But, he's very careful with it and does a pretty good job!  He decided on his own, early in the breaking-the-ice season that he would do this.  So, he grabbed that axe from Grandpa and took off to the pond.  On this particular day, I was along and we were actually feeding with Jeff (Grandpa had somewhere else to be), but we let him do his thing and I got some great pictures to remind me that there is so much more to Reece than just the autism :-)

By the way, here's a couple of the girls hanging out in their favorite pasture tree.

     The kids had fun in the snow, but Lindy's comment today was, "I hope it doesn't snow again for a whole year!"

winter blues

So, I've thought about this blog a lot and have wondered what to post, but have felt like I was simply out of words.  Winter is always very hard for me.  My mom always said I suffered from cabin fever.  I take my vitamin D and plan for my summer garden, yet when February hits, I become unmotivated and lethargic.  All my energy from having a new year begin seems to melt away.  I don't want to be depressing, but as I sit in here my frigid basement waiting for my autistic son to quit his autistic screaming and just go to sleep already, it's very hard to be cheery.  It's been very difficult with Reece these last few weeks.  We had a pretty good holiday season, but things have started to go downhill with him.  He started head banging, which he has NEVER done before now.  His bruise and the cut on his forehead were finally all healed and he didn't head bang yesterday hardly at all.  I thought maybe we had passed this whatever-it-is, but today, after he was outside this morning, he came in with a forehead that looked like raw hamburger.  We think he banged his head on the woodpile.  Dealing with this has put a damper on my spirits.  I try so very hard to be thankful for my special boy and to thank God for his wisdom in giving Reece to us and to thank Him for the autism, but when we're all cooped up together in the house and we're constantly on Reece to quit banging his head, it becomes so very hard to be thankful for this autism demon.  Yes, that's sometimes what it seems like to us.  It's like a demon that has possessed our sweet boy and sometimes I pray SO HARD for Jesus to take it away!  Just when we think that maybe this autism isn't so bad and that everything will be "alright" (whatever version of that God chooses for us!) something new and awful crops up.  I took Reece off of dairy again.  He was dairy free (and a whole lot of other frees) for several years, but almost 2 years ago, we put him back on a normal diet.  In an effort to "fix" things, I decided that maybe going dairy free would help him again.  Reece has adapted well- he likes all of the milk alternatives.  And, going back on a special diet isn't nearly as traumatic this time around.  I still have all of my recipes and whatnot.  But, it adds to the stress of everything else.  But, after venting like this, I must admit, I do feel better.  So, I'm going to praise God for the autism, pray for patience and wisdom and that someday Reece will choose Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior!  Just writing those words has made me feel a million times better!  God is good and even if these snowy, cloudy days have gotten me down, spring will come and we will make it through another mile on our Autism Journey.